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The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

Bill Watterson

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
BILL WATTERSON

Incinerated People Religious
Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
BILL WATTERSON

Craft Different Editorial Joke Taste Technique
It’s surprising how hard we’ll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Hard Surprising
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Other Real Zombie
Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
BILL WATTERSON

Dance Hard Maybe Number Special Tell
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
BILL WATTERSON

Cute Funny Life Stars
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
Scientific Progress goes boink?
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbes Progress Scientific Progress
Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.
BILL WATTERSON

Best Friend Friendship Inspirational
I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Friendship People Rationalizing Real Skills
I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
BILL WATTERSON

Doubt Listening Nagging
[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It’s me, Calvin! I was wondering if you’d like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy,
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Letting Mom Wondering
Calvin: Medically speaking:. That’s love?!?….. Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
BILL WATTERSON

Cooties Figured Happened Hobbies Love
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Sarcastic
Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.
BILL WATTERSON

Peace Play War
From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.
BILL WATTERSON

Conformity Connect Dots Way
Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Appreciate Late Miracle
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON

Esteem Expectations Secret Self
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Real Smug Wisely
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.
BILL WATTERSON

Architect Form Function
I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.
BILL WATTERSON

Common Ignore Plenty Sense
A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSON

Color Crayon Order Perfect Pointy
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Giving Hilarious
Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.
BILL WATTERSON

Painting Solve Tigers Vans
We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Science

The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

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The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

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Popular Authors

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