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I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

Bill Watterson

Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Kings Mom Nice People Think
I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.
BILL WATTERSON

Liked Thing Understand
Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
BILL WATTERSON

Change Different Funny Life
If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.
BILL WATTERSON

Reason Volume Winning
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Guess Moving School
Reality continues to ruin my life.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Life
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.
BILL WATTERSON

Kids Publication School Yearbook
Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes.
BILL WATTERSON

Numbers Play Special
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you’re done before you know it.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Looks Secret
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie
[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Scrabble Vowels
From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.
BILL WATTERSON

Conformity Connect Dots Way
Calvin: Medically speaking:. That’s love?!?….. Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
BILL WATTERSON

Cooties Figured Happened Hobbies Love
If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.
BILL WATTERSON

Artist Jobs Thinking
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
BILL WATTERSON

Refuse Wonder World
I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.
BILL WATTERSON

Firsts Hobbes Use
Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Rain Reading
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Real Smug Wisely
You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulation Cynically Expect Manipulate Nothing Taught
I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
BILL WATTERSON

Football Sports Thinking
A day can really slip by when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.
BILL WATTERSON

Avoiding Hobbies Slips
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON

Esteem Expectations Secret Self
Good friends are hard to come by… I need more money.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Friend More Money Needs
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Giving Hilarious
Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.
BILL WATTERSON

Best Friend Friendship Inspirational

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

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I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

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