“Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”

Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.

Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I’m looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I’ll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What’s your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.

I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.

Calvin: Life’s a lot more fun when you aren’t responsible for your actions.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .

I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.

Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T

As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.

Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!

Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn’t going out.

They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!

I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

Seduction is always more singular and sublime than sex and it commands the higher price.

Since God had commanded it, it was necessary that I do it. Since God commanded it, even if I had a hundred fathers and mothers, even if I had been a King’s daughter,

I did not take this dress or do anything but by the command of Our Lord and of the Angels.

He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.

Your position never gives you the right to command. It only imposes on you the duty of so living your life that others can receive your orders without being humiliated.

Sometimes I get insecure about being a real director because I look at the great directors, and they have such command. But maybe that keeps me critical of myself. Maybe it keeps me moving forward.

In peace there is profundity from which the highest respect arises from respect comes power and command therefore observe peace.

Well, if it really was her anger, then she should be able to tell it to go away, shouldnt she? But it really isn’t hers to command.