“Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”

With each decision, we tell ourselves and the world who we are. Think about what you want out of this life, and recognize that there are many kinds of success.

Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet

A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.

You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?

From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.

Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.

I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.

Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.

Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!

Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes

Nature cannot be commanded except by being obeyed.

All acquired power consists in command over some of the powers of other man.

I am a force of nature. I command an audience by just my mere presence.

The religious persecution of the ages has been done under what was claimed to be the command of God.

Respect commands itself and it can neither be given nor withheld when it is due.

Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum.

I speak and speak but the listener retains only the words he is expecting. It is not the voice that commands the story: it is the ear.