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Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Bill Watterson

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Guess Moving School
You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
BILL WATTERSON

Failure Headed Resources Success Truth
You know, maybe we don’t need enemies.” “Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.
BILL WATTERSON

Enemy Maybe Needs Take Yeah
I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
BILL WATTERSON

Little Surreal Trying
County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.
BILL WATTERSON

Definitions Desk Library Needs Reference
I let my mind wander and it didn’t come back.
BILL WATTERSON

Bumper Funny Mind Sticker Wander
Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
BILL WATTERSON

Boys Inscrutable Omen
Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?
BILL WATTERSON

Faces People Possums
If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.
BILL WATTERSON

Artist Jobs Thinking
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
BILL WATTERSON

Accomplish Funny Life Motivational Nothing
Art has to keep moving and discovering to stay alive.
BILL WATTERSON

Alive Art Moving
I’m a misunderstood genius.” “What’s misunderstood?” “Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
BILL WATTERSON

Genius Misunderstood Thinking
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.
BILL WATTERSON

Buttons Funny Light
That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Science Trying Unimaginable
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie

Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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Popular Authors

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