From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.
BILL WATTERSONSometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
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I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!
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Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes.
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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
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I’m a misunderstood genius.” “What’s misunderstood?” “Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
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I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.
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Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
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There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
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Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
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Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.
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I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
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Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
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You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
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Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
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You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?
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Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
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Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
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Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.
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I’m related to people I don’t relate to.
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Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
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I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.
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In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
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Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another
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What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?
BILL WATTERSON