But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
BILL WATTERSONSo, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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No sport is less organized than Calvinball.
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If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
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I’d like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
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I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
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Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?
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In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
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Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world’s problems?
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Good friends are hard to come by… I need more money.
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To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.
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Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
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I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!
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Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.
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I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
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Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!
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I’M SIGNIFICANT!!! … Say’s the dust speck.
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You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.
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It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.
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Although I’m certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I’m fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.
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I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
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Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
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Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
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Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
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That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON