“Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.”

Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet

A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.

You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?

From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.

Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.

I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.

Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.

Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!

Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.

I live in New York and I’m in New York basically all the time. I spend a lot of my time in my restaurants, and I feel like that’s why they’re successful.

It’s much easier to be successful than it is to be relevant. The tricks won’t keep you relevant. Tricks might keep you popular for a while, but in all honesty,

I know all about cheating. I’ve had six very successful marriages.

I love using gas grills because they are easier to heat and it’s much easier to control the flames with a gas grill than with a charcoal fire. Grilling is not just about lighting a fire.

There is a passion for perfection which you will rarely see fully developed; but you may note this fact, that in successful lives it is never wholly lacking.

The successful memoirist [blogger] respects facts, uses them accurately, rigorously represses the human impulse to lie or embellish, but knows that truth is both different from facts and greater than facts, and not always their sum.

Successful investment may become substantially a matter of techniques and criteria that are learnable, rather than the product of unique and incommunicable mental powers.

The elements of success. And my son’s very successful. He’s doing very well. And I have a younger daughter who sings.