My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSONCalvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
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Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
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If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.
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You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
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[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
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What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?
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Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
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Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
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The whole idea of hobknobbing and schmoozing and the concept of an “elite” class of celebrities better than the common people has always made my stomach turn.
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Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
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It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
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Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I’m looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I’ll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What’s your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.
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I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
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The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
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I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?
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Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
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I don’t enjoy lettering very much, but that’s the way I write and that belongs in the strip because the strip is a reflection of me.
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Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
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Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
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Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world’s problems?
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So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
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Sleepwalking?” “Nightmare?” “Homicidal psycho jungle cat!
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I’m related to people I don’t relate to.
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Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.
BILL WATTERSON