“Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.”

Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

As “Calvin and Hobbes” went on, the writing pushed the drawings into greater complexity.

Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.

I’ve been amazed at how one idea leads to others if I allow my mind to play and wander.

If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.

No sport is less organized than Calvinball.

What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I’ve always tried to make the strip animated, even when the characters aren’t moving, with expressions or perspectives or some sort of exaggeration.

I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?

Suddenly, we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless?

In the right hands, a comic strip attains a beauty and elegance that, really, I would put against any other art.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

With each decision, we tell ourselves and the world who we are. Think about what you want out of this life, and recognize that there are many kinds of success.

I was probably the only professed revolutionary ever referred to as “cute.”

People hate people who are good at things. People hate people who are cute.

It’s OK to do cute little things like kissing a turtle, but you can’t kiss another person because he’s a different color? Give me a break. And you have to remember, I’m from Dallas, Texas.

Katy Perry still gets me every time. She’s very funny in person! We met at the Teen Choice Awards and she pulled my cheeks apart and told me how cute I was. My life was literally flashing before my eyes!

Gujaratis are really cute people, and I find Gujarati to be a very sweet language.

At school where you a dunce or a teacher’s pet? All of the above. I was stupid so they thought I was cute.

I’m taking my rats. Those are my friends for the tour. Thelma and Louise. They’re so cute.

Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone.