Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.
BILL WATTERSONMothers are the necessity of invention.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
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At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.
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To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.
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It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.
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When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
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I knew you’d win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming “Aaaaaaaaaaaa”, then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it’s just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
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What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?
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Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
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The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
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It’s surprising how hard we’ll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
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It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
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You have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it’s going to come in handy all the time.
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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
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I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
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It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
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A day can really slip by when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.
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In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
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I’d like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
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Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
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They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.
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Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I’d say our afternoon just got booked solid!
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Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world’s problems?
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It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.
BILL WATTERSON