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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?

Bill Watterson

That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Perseverance Remarkable Worse
I liked things better when I didn’t understand them.
BILL WATTERSON

Liked Thing Understand
At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you’ll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Every Ideas Motivation New School
I knew you’d win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming “Aaaaaaaaaaaa”, then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it’s just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
BILL WATTERSON

Around Circle Hobbies Know Screaming
I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Friendship People Rationalizing Real Skills
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
BILL WATTERSON

Cute Funny Life Stars
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Future Humorous
County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.
BILL WATTERSON

Definitions Desk Library Needs Reference
In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
BILL WATTERSON

Culture Excess Good Life
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
BILL WATTERSON

Admission Anyone Exciting Gate More
Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
BILL WATTERSON

Craft Different Editorial Joke Taste Technique
Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
BILL WATTERSON

Delusion Faces Life People Preposterous
A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSON

Color Crayon Order Perfect Pointy
The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbies Jobs Secrets
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three
On the other hand, the mass media is disintegrating, and audiences are atomizing. I suspect comics will have less widespread cultural impact and make a lot less money.
BILL WATTERSON

Cultural Disintegrating Impact Less Money
I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Ideas Recognizing Success Trying
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Jobs Meaningful
If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.
BILL WATTERSON

Reason Volume Winning
The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.
BILL WATTERSON

Admire Special World
If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Butter Control Funny Life Peanut
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
BILL WATTERSON

Argue Shaves Six Years
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Helping Mood
There’s great potential for that which has yet to be fully mined.
BILL WATTERSON

Fully Great Minded Potential

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?

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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?

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