“I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.”

In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.

You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.

County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.

You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.

For me, it’s been liberating to put myself in the mind of a fictitious six year-old each day, and rediscover my own curiosity.

Although I’m certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I’m fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.

Every artist learns through imitation, but I rather doubt the aim of these things is artistic development.

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.

It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.

I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.

Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?

One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.

We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.

I wanted to be a farmer; actually, I wanted to be a horse-breeder. And I had the stallions… but then I heard Little Richard, and that was it.

Actually, only God can satisfy a Christian’s heart; man cannot.

It is better to treat an adolescent as if he had greater value than he actually shows than as if he had less and let him feel that his merits and self-respect are disregarded.

Now it has gotten a whole new leg. It has gotten a thing of being able to actually step in somebody’s reality and walk through it like they do, experience it the way they do, specifically.

A creep is someone who claims he’s one thing but he’s actually another.

A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.

It was hard to narrow them down, because I tried to pick songs for the most part that actually did have some effect on me or influenced me in the past.

It is actually important to do songs they’re familiar with. Also, I love those songs. In a way, I think I’ve changed people’s perceptions of what a cabaret show like this could be.