Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world’s problems?
BILL WATTERSONThings are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
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Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
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There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
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Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
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You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.
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Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond’rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces… Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug’s juices!
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That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
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They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.
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It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
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Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
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I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
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Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
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You know, maybe we don’t need enemies.” “Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.
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And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
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So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
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No sport is less organized than Calvinball.
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County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.
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I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
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It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
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I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
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I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
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Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.
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You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.
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I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
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Every artist learns through imitation, but I rather doubt the aim of these things is artistic development.
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Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes.
BILL WATTERSON