I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
BILL WATTERSONYou’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
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Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
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Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can’t, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
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I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
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All the new media will inevitably change the look, function, and maybe even the purpose of comics, but comics are vibrant and versatile, so I think they’ll continue to find relevance one way or another. But they definitely won’t be the same as what I grew up with.
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I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
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Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
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So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
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If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
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If you’ve ever compared a film to a novel it’s based on, you know the novel gets bludgeoned. It’s inevitable, because different media have different strengths and needs, and when you make a movie, the movie’s needs get served.
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Calvin: Medically speaking:. That’s love?!?….. Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
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Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another
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I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
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If people looked at the stars each night, they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.
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Good friends are hard to come by… I need more money.
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Suddenly, we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless?
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As “Calvin and Hobbes” went on, the writing pushed the drawings into greater complexity.
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Sleepwalking?” “Nightmare?” “Homicidal psycho jungle cat!
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Calvin: Today for show and tell, I’ve brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake!
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County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.
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We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
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You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
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[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It’s me, Calvin! I was wondering if you’d like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy,
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In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
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As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON