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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

Bill Watterson

If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Butter Control Funny Life Peanut
Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
BILL WATTERSON

Cutting Mom Vegetables
You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.
BILL WATTERSON

Chemistry Design Ingredients
In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
BILL WATTERSON

Culture Excess Good Life
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
BILL WATTERSON

Loopholes Pubbawup
My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
BILL WATTERSON

Lips Moving Thinking
At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you’ll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Every Ideas Motivation New School
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON

Bird Bugs Taste
I can never enjoy Sundays, because in the back of my mind I always know I’ve got to go to school the next day. It’s like trying to enjoy your last meal before the execution.
BILL WATTERSON

Enjoy School Smock Sunday
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
BILL WATTERSON

Guy Humorous Look Thinking
Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.
BILL WATTERSON

Comforting Few Late Less
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Science Trying Unimaginable
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
BILL WATTERSON

Children Mom Motivational
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
BILL WATTERSON

Refuse Wonder World
Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.
BILL WATTERSON

Built Character Regretted
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Kind Sacrifice
Good friends are hard to come by… I need more money.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Friend More Money Needs
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Giving Hilarious
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!
BILL WATTERSON

Anymore Country Mom People Play Think
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
BILL WATTERSON

Dance Hard Maybe Number Special Tell
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I’d say our afternoon just got booked solid!
BILL WATTERSON

Humorous Running Solid Water
Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
BILL WATTERSON

Believe Evil Men

The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

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