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And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.

Bill Watterson

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
BILL WATTERSON

Class League Superhero
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
BILL WATTERSON

Children Mom Motivational
As “Calvin and Hobbes” went on, the writing pushed the drawings into greater complexity.
BILL WATTERSON

Drawing Reality Writing
I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON

Fairness Favors World
Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Kings Mom Nice People Think
You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
BILL WATTERSON

Humans Pride Source
I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
BILL WATTERSON

Little Surreal Trying
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.
BILL WATTERSON

Kids Publication School Yearbook
They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!
BILL WATTERSON

Law Lawn Over Running Spirit Wall
At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.
BILL WATTERSON

Along Around Detroit Enjoy Good Probably Time
Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
BILL WATTERSON

Boys Kids Resources Scary Supposed
The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life… I don’t want the issue of Hobbes’s reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
BILL WATTERSON

Issues Reality Special
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON

Bird Bugs Taste
I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
BILL WATTERSON

Doubt Listening Nagging
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three
You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Failure Resources Wells
I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .
BILL WATTERSON

Forest Intelligent Reading Thinking
In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
BILL WATTERSON

Culture Excess Good Life
Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Childhood Spoiling
And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
BILL WATTERSON

Admission Anyone Exciting Gate More
Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
BILL WATTERSON

Speaking Talking Thinking
Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
BILL WATTERSON

Beans Place Someday Stupid Thinking
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
BILL WATTERSON

Argue Shaves Six Years
My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
BILL WATTERSON

Lips Moving Thinking
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
BILL WATTERSON

Snow Winning
Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON

Animal Ask Friendship Kindness Problem

And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.

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And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.

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Popular Authors

More Bill Watterson Quotes