Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
BILL WATTERSONAnd it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
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As “Calvin and Hobbes” went on, the writing pushed the drawings into greater complexity.
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I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
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Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
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You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
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I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
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Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
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I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.
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They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!
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At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.
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Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
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The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life… I don’t want the issue of Hobbes’s reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
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When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
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I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
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Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
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You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
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I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .
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In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
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Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.
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And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
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Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
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Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
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Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
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Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
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Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON