“By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.”

It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history books, just to see what other people are doing with the same set of facts.

Work is the means of living, but it is not living.

Usually we trust that nature has a master plan. But what was it she expected us to do with tobacco?.

Keep right on to the end of the road, Keep right on to the end. Tho’the way be long let your heart be strong, Keep right on round the bend. T

We have got to keep the momentum going in order to achieve all of our objectives.

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.

One of the most gracious dispensations of God concerning His saints is their lovely unawareness of sanctity. The nearer they move to Him, the more conscious are they of sin.

There’s something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs.

The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.

Do not believe a thing because you read it in a book! Do not believe a thing because another has said it so! Find out the truth for yourself.

It turns out there’s only one thing that capuchins really, really love – and that’s sweet stuff. If you give them a big vat of say, marshmallow fluff, and you let them go at it.

What a pity that the only way to heaven is in a hearse.

The wolf changes his coat, but not his disposition.

In the electronic age, books, words and reading are not likely to remain sufficiently authoritative and central to knowledge to justify literature.

The SPR is intended to provide relief at times when working families are struggling to make ends meet, and to counter the price shocks that accompany severe supply disruptions. Now is undoubtedly such a time.

On the neck of a giraffe a flea begins to believe in immortality.

I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.

The way the elderly are treated, and in some cases warehoused and medicated, rather than nurtured and listened to, is distressing.

Roman Catholicism: a hundred million people bowing down before a flesh-hating, elderly celibate.

I remember once having to stop performing when I thought an elderly man a few rows back from the front was actually going to die because he was laughing so hard.