Humour Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Humour with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Humour quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Idiot Maniac
Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU

Funny Humour Island Land Opportunity Stand
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Funny Humour
If I had my way, I’d remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead.
ROALD DAHL

Calender Extra Humour Remove
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX

Exception Face Forget Humour
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet.
STEPHEN HAWKING

Development Humour Intelligence Life Meet Ourselves Want
It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
MARILYN MONROE

Funny Humour Music Radio True
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Humour One Liner Science Scream Thesis
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Dead Funny Humour One Liner Secret
Who said nights were for sleep?
MARILYN MONROE

Humour Night Peace Sleep
I don’t know why women want any of the things men have when one of the things that women have is men.
COCO CHANEL

Deep Humour Love Togetherness Women
That wasn’t any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.
STEPHEN KING

Action God Human Humour Purity Stupidity
Don’t call a woman a bitch. Call her an ass-hole. It still gets your point across and it’s not sexist.
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

Humour Sex Woman
An eye for an eye. We are all blind.
DALAI LAMA

Blind Eyes Funny Humour One Liner
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
WALT DISNEY

Funny Humour Love Woman
You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.
JOHNNY DEPP

Care Humour Silence Time
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN

Comedy Humour Liberty Thinking
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Face Humour Mask One Liner Wearing
Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.
MAE WEST

Avoid Danger Humour
You’re not a man, you’re a mushroom!
ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY

Funny Humour Man Mushroom
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Humour Man One Liner Teaching
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
ROBERT FROST

Brain Humour Moments Morning Office Organ Start Wake Up Wonderful Work
A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
MAE WEST

Bald Fire Humour Man Sex Women
People who try to explain pictures are usually barking up the wrong tree.
PABLO PICASSO

Bark Explanation Humour People Photograph Tree Wrong
I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.
JOHN GREEN

Future Humour Unpredictable
We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Hang Humour Separate Togetherness

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