“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It’s called fun.

When I was growing up they used to say, “Robin, drugs can kill you.” Now that I’m 58 my doctor’s telling me, “Robin, you need drugs to live.” I realize now that my doctor is also my dealer.

My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, how precious that is.

To live would be an awfully big adventure.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

There’s a time for daring and there’s a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

We used to be hunter-gatherers, now we’re shopper-borrowers.

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

You have to break in half to love somebody.

Please, don’t worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.

If I loved a guy as much as I love my dog, the guy would be in serious trouble because I’m all over that dog, all of the time.

Get your priorities straight. No one ever said on his death bed, ‘Gee, if I’d only spent more time at the office.’

I would like to look funny on screen, doing comedy.

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?

If I get writer’s block – this is going to sound funny – I take a shower. Something about the water feels like I’m cleaning my brain as well as my body.

How do Ferrari know what I’m doing next year when I don’t know what I’m doing next week?

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I wanted to become a better Snoop Dogg, full of water, proteins and stuff to keep me alive. Lollipops and Big Macs.