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People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.

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You know what music is? God’s little reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.
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Connection God Live Music Reminder Stars Universe
To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.
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Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
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The great thing about marriage is the idea of really getting to know someone. And really getting to know a woman is a life long task.
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We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.
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There are no rules. Just follow your heart.
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A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.
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I wonder what chairs think about all day: “Oh, here comes another asshole
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I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
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Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
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My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it’s mobile meditation.
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I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
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Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
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When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
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Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
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You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
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No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
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You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.
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Seize the day. Make your life extraordinary.
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Sometimes the mask we wear is simply just a smile.
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The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?
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Poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
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Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.
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I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
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Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.
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People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
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Dead Funny Humour People
If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
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