“Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really.”

Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.

Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly.

Poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

There’s a world out there. Open a window, and it’s there.

When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.

Don’t associate yourself with toxic people. It’s better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.

I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.

But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.

Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, ‘Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.’

There are no rules. Just follow your heart.

My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings.

If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.

Seize the day. Make your life extraordinary.

If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Make your life spectacular, I know I did.