Funny Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Funny with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Funny quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Courage Funny Inspirational Moments Parents White
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN

Audience Funny Stage World
I had no idea what was going on but I loved every moment of it!! Tokyo’s restaurant game is next level hotness.
WILL SMITH

Funny Hot Humour Ideas Moments Restaurant
Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Certain Comedy Funny
When there’s a person, there’s a problem. When there’s no person, there’s no problem.
JOSEPH STALIN

Funny Person Problem
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Girlfriend Meet Naughty Wife
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Bed Funny Hell Home Myself Nature Night Stars Wonder
He took in the squeaky music, the vulgar and pining melodies, because passion immobilizes good taste and seriously considers what soberly would be thought of as funny and to be resented.
THOMAS MANN

Funny Music Passion Serious Vulgar
If 13 is unlucky, then 12 and 14 are guilty by association.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Mathematics Relationship
It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.
LUCILLE BALL

Funny Love See Time
I thought my teeth were white until I washed my face with Noxzema. My teeth are off-white. I’m not even white. I’m off-white. It’s a new race; we will prevail!
MITCH HEDBERG

Appearance Funny Humor Race
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Dance Family Funny Humour Rid Skeleton
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
DAVID OGILVY

Best Funny Ideas Possible Thinking Yourself
Only peril can bring the French together. One can’t impose unity out of the blue on a country that has 265 different kinds of cheese.
CHARLES DE GAULLE

Country Different Funny Oneself Togetherness Unity
If I blow my nose, it gets written all over the world.
AUDREY HEPBURN

Fame Funny Media Nose World Writing
I’m not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Be Yourself Deep Finding Funny Man Natural
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX

Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
You see much more of your children once they leave home.
LUCILLE BALL

Children Funny Home Leaving See
I am a big foodie, so much so that I eat in every half an hour. This is the secret of my glowing skin.
DEEPIKA PADUKONE

Appearance Eat Food Funny Glow Myself Secret Skin
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Synonym
I want to ride in a cold air balloon. “This isn’t going anywhere!”
MITCH HEDBERG

Air Funny Humor
She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Herself Stupidity Understand War World
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
JOAN RIVERS

Children Funny Myself Toys
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
ROBERT GRAVES

Art Calm Funny Happiness Hilarious Knowledge Laughter Light Men Positive Shine Smile
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said ‘I hear music,’ as though there’s any other way to take it in. ‘You’re not special. That’s how I receive it too, I tried to taste it, but it did not work’.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Music Philosophy
Time is a funny old thing isn’t it?! We are all surrounded by it!
TOM JONES

Funny Old Surround Time
I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.
BETTE DAVIS

Death Funny Inspirational Marriage Money

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