Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECKAll of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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He who laughs lasts.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK