Adam Carolla Quotes

I don’t know anything about computers.

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .

If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.