Adam Carolla Quotes

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.

There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.

If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.