Adam Carolla Quotes

. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.

We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.

It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.

I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.