Adam Carolla Quotes

But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.

If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.

If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.

Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.