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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

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Humble Keep Know Mirror

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Again Happen Last Night Nothing Terrible Thing
In most states you can get a driver’s license when you’re sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Drive License Made Most Now Old Sense Sixteen State Year
Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Always Before Down Drink Fall Friend Health
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Do Life Practice Work Yourself
There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bake Buildup Crud Cupcake Open Roo Single Such
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Dog Every Go Howl Near Stove Time
self-pity is better than none.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Better Ity None Self
If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Enough Laugh Wrinkle
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bed Fight Go never Stay Up
When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beach Come Even Go Tide
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Age Back Do Go More Than
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Curve Set Smile Straight
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Descend Foolish Listen Long Mother Very
I’m the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Central Crime Night Only Park Reduce Trade Walk Woman
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Cheap Christmas Committed Eve Fre Husband Kids Santa Shot Suicide Tell
I’m looking for a perfume to overpower men – I’m sick of karate.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Karate Look Overpower Perfume Sick

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