I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
PHYLLIS DILLERDo not taste food while you’re cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
More Phyllis Diller Quotes
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I was the world’s ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
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Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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My photographs don’t do me justice – they just look like me.
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Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
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I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
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Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.
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Do not taste food while you’re cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
PHYLLIS DILLER