There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALDThis would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALD