I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALDIgnorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
NORM MACDONALD