Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALDThe most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALD






