Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALDThe most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
NORM MACDONALD