The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
NORM MACDONALDEnjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
NORM MACDONALD






