The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
NORM MACDONALDEnjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALD