Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAINIt’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
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Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
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Classic – a book which people praise and don’t read.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
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There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
MARK TWAIN