“It isn’t enough for you to love money – it’s also necessary that money should love you.”

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

Many a family tree needs trimming

Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.

Nobuddy ever listened t’ reason on a empty stomach.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

When a woman says, ‘I don’t wish to mention any names’, it means it ain’t necessary to mention any names.

There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an’ it keeps on laughin’.

An optimist is a fellow who believes what’s going to be will be postponed

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he’s overcharging you.

Flattery won’t hurt you if you don’t swallow it.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

A testimony is a testimony, and it should be respected, whether it is small or large.

I was always determined that races should begin on time and I never deviated from that policy.

Women feel safe with me as well they should, because not only am I morally objected at going too far, but physically I cannot do it.

You should watch what you say to people.

Whatever pursuit you undertake, the requirements should start with a love of what it is that you are pursuing.

You can learn a little bit from everybody, so you should be able to work a bit with everybody.

Congress should be forward thinking in the policies we set, instead of waiting until catastrophe looms.

You have to work for everything. Marriage should not be any different.