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The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

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Double Money Once Pocket Safe

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The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
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Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn’t do when he was young.
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Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he’s overcharging you.
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Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
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Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
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Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness.
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It’s going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.
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The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.
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Across Candidate Election Recognize Street
Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.
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The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
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One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
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Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
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University: … a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.
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