The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARXHe may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX