No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARXHe may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX






