Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARXHe may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX






