I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZContrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ