Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZContrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ