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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Animal Favourite Steak
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Back Bluntly Hotel Land Rather Type Want
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Back Cloth Hotel Relinquish Specified Tell Want
Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Adult Between Consent exchange Interest Little Private Probably Verbal
If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Bring Country Food Go Own
I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Adult Child Company Experience Issue Preferably Stake
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Actual Being Excuse Football Good Interest Male Play Simply Special Transsexual Woman
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Character Do Help Hope Moral Most People Pretend
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

And Fame Famous Made More People
Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Burn Eat Feel Paas Paint Restless Simply Something Sweet Urge Write
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Algebra Assure Life Real Such Thing
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Chair Comfortable Door Enough Found Large Location Nature Out
Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Anything Bother Children Discuss Small
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Cut Good Interset Lack Meal Purpose Sense Unaccompanied Vegetable
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Absolute Animal Bless Conversation Denim Room Furniture Jump Own Room
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Airport Area Departmental Desire Freedom Hotel Lobby Public Restaurant Speech Store Street Undue
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Happy Hear Life Phone Remember Stage Teenage
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Distort Drug Illness Impossible Love Mental Pleasurable Point Really Romantic Saw
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Algebra Assure Conscious Life Real Refuse Stand Such Thing
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Been Book Cause Have High Publication School
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Calculation Chance Done Identical Lottery Play Win
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Child Deduct Future Prepare Serious Subtract Teach
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Happy Hear Life Phone Stage Teenage
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Get Life Sleep Something When
I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Adulthood Anyone Child Children Happen never Smart Wonder
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Dog Owner Suggest Sweater Tail Were
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Artistic Effort Irritate Make People Possess Unproductive Unseemly

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