Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
My favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nothing succeeds like address.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






