Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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My favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ