Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZScientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZ