Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ