Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZRemember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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My favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ