Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZDesigner clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
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I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ