“Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.”

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.

You’re only as good as your last haircut.

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

I just happen to believe that people are not stupid. And the way I will come at it is to educate people, help people to actually understand that it is that progressive movement that is causing them the problems.

I introduced legislation in the Senate that I believe is more narrowly focused at the actual threat, which is radical Islamic terrorism, and what my legislation would do is suspend all refugees for three years from countries where ISIS or Al Qaida control substantial territory.

I actually think film and TV are sort of the same thing now. To me they’re all motion pictures. There’s a camera, a script, other actors and a director. Doing a sitcom is a little different.

I’m raised to actually think, to use my brain.

I think your ego gets in the way of making something good because it kind of blinds you from the actual art.

My objection to the church isn’t that the preachers are cruel, hypocritical, actually wicked, though some of them are that, too .

It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is less intense than the world of his invention and consequently his life, without recourse to violent disorder, does not seem very substantial.

But the Princeton fellowship was somewhat more generous, since I had not actually won the Putnam competition… Thus Princeton became the choice for my graduate study location.