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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Calculation Chance Done Identical Lottery Play Win
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Happy Hear Life Phone Remember Stage Teenage
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Get Life Sleep Something When
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Character Do Help Hope Moral Most People Pretend
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Airport Area Departmental Desire Freedom Hotel Lobby Public Restaurant Speech Store Street Undue
I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Adult Child Company Experience Issue Preferably Stake
Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Anything Bother Children Discuss Small
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Assure Child Day Do Feel Like Rainy Watch
Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Conversation Either Polite Rarely
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Back Bluntly Hotel Land Rather Type Want
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Algebra Assure Conscious Life Real Refuse Stand Such Thing
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Artistic Effort Irritate Make People Possess Unproductive Unseemly
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Dog Owner Suggest Sweater Tail Were
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Anything Behav Behave Courtesy Gently Heart High Morale People Politeness Repelinet Spirit Value
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Capitalism Communism Country Democracy Orient Over Triumphed Union
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Actual Being Excuse Football Good Interest Male Play Simply Special Transsexual Woman

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