“Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.”

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.

If you’re going to America, bring your own food.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Government spending cannot create additional jobs. If the government provides the funds required by taxing the citizens or by borrowing from the public, it abolishes on the one hand as many jobs as it creates on the other.

An empty taxi drew up outside 10 Downing Street and Clement Attlee got out of it.

New York waiters, probably the surliest in the Western world . . . are better images of their city than that journalistic favorite the taxi driver.

I have done almost every human activity inside a taxi which does not require main drainage.

His statement was, “We’re going to the same place, except you’re taking a taxi, and I’m driving my own car.” That’s me and Ian MacKaye’s relationship. I love him, he’s great.

The rumble of a subway train, the rattle of the taxis.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.