Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZIn real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ