Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZPolite conversation is rarely either.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZ