If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZI place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You’re only as good as your last haircut.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
FRAN LEBOWITZ