Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPEBaseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
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When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
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Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
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US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE