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Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.

Bob Hope

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE

Boxing Canvas Funny Sports
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
BOB HOPE

Happiness Inspirational Laughter
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE

Doctors Funny Heart Operating Table
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE

Singing Sweet Trying
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Golf Member Successful
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out

Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.

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Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes