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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

Bob Hope

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE

Actors Comedy Parent
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE

Agents Lying Typical
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE

Each Lines Nothing Other Stock Way

The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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