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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

Bob Hope

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
BOB HOPE

Dies Golf Pain Swings
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE

Appreciate Want War Winding
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE

Each Lines Nothing Other Stock Way
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight

The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

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