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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.

Bob Hope

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE

Singing Sweet Trying
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous Old
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE

Blow Home Hurricane Tornadoes Typhoon Worry
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
BOB HOPE

Courses Decide Golf Play Spring
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE

Average Funny Humorous

As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.

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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes