Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPEAs the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE -
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE -
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE -
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE -
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
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I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE -
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE